IF I WERE MUSEVENI:Part III.

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If I were Museveni,

I would go for a CHOGM meeting

In Rwanda and be a celebrity -

Not of peace but of bloodshed.

If I were Museveni,

I would be the oldest black monarch

Attending the CHOGM proceedings -

Forgetting that Arts teachers in my Kingdom need a pay increase.

If I were Museveni,

I would radio call my wife,

She should threaten the striking 'nothing doers'-

For they teach Art not the Science we want.

If I were Museveni,

Political or non Political dialogues

Are but just a waste of time-

For I know everything in my Kingdom.

If I were Museveni,

Talking of my poor long service

In power is but also a waste of time-

For I will retire when Queen Elizabeth II does.

If I were Museveni,

No one can teach me

About the subject of Human rights-

For that is what I fought for in the bush.

If I were Museveni,

I would tell the world that-

I fought for democracy and equality

In the sixteen dry years I spent ousting a number of dictators.

If I were Museveni,

My regime should not

Be compared to Amin's-

For Amin was a dictator, Murderer and a segregator.

If I were Museveni,

I would tell the Human Rights Forum

To be careful when talking to me about human rights,

For I am the chosen one on such issues.